Trying to figure it out
by arrihglover4EVA
Summary: 'Does she really love me? If she does then why did she tell me it was an act' Peeta finally gets inside Katniss's brain and knows how she feels about Peeta (originally a one shot) read and review
1. Chapter 1: In the beginning

**HELLO WORLD!**

** this is my first fanfiction so let's all be nice**

**This is a one shot during catching fire before Peeta comes to wake Katniss up after Gale's whipping. Think about it, yeah then. Haymitch and Peeta have a talk about Katniss and her feelings for Peeta and how Peeta feels. **

**Disclaimer :sadly I own nothing:(**

**PPOV:**

"Hey Haymitch! " I yell trying to wake him. He still won't wake so I yell "Ahhh Haymitch you out of beer!" This makes him wake up.

"Come on let's go to the hob and get more," he's stumbling around and I have to contain my laughter.

"I was just kidding" I say setting down the bread and myself. He just grunts and sits down himself.

We sit there for a while eating bread and him drinking beer. Normally we always have something to talk about but we both have the same thing on our minds. Gale's whipping .

"OK, "Haymitch starts "come on its time to start talking."

I continue to look down at my bread not saying anything for a while as Haymitch continues to stare daggers into me.

Finally I say "Their's nothing to talk about" I whisper. Obviously it was loud enough for him to hear me.

"No, don't do that, I saw the way you looked at her. We both know that she looked at him with longing, and I know that you wish she looked at you with as much feeling as him."

"No I don't" I say with anger i'm trying to keep at bae but I'm lying. I really wish she does. Luckily I'm a great liar.

"Don't give me that bullshit, I know your lying Peeta I can read you like a book"

Damn. Now I get mad " OK first of all don't act like you know the first thing about me"

"I do know you, boy"Haymitch tries to state back pointing his finger.

"Oh yeah, what's my favorite color?" This time he stays quiet. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Second of all, I just wanna say that I'm tired of it okay. "

"Tired of what?" He asks. Now we're staying to get quieter and a bit sentimental

"Tired of fighting a losing battle. " I say with a bit of sadness in my voice. He looks at me with confusion so I continue. "OK, look, Katniss and Gale are obviously perfect for each other. They've known each other for God's know how long and what am I, just the kid who's loved her since we were 5 years old but never has had the balls to talk to her and when I finally do,I ruin it by being a jackass to her and not talking to her for 6 months and expects her to welcome me ball with open arms. Well to that I say hell no. I don't deserve her love but that doesn't mean I don't want itwith ago my heart. He is able to take care of her and love her how she's supposed to be loved so I sure as hell won't stop her from getting that. "

"Well what about you-!" Haymitch says starting to get mad once more

"What about me? " I say staying calm.

"You're acting like your feelings don't even matter!" He asks still angry but not being as loud.

"And who do they matter to?" I see that he wants to say something but I stop him before he does."No seriously think about it, who really cares about me"

Once again I have made Haymitch quiet as a mouse, until he says "What you don't see boy is that she loves him like a brother and she loves you like a husband."

I think about it for a minute and then remember all those kisses her and Gale shared and all the ones we've shafted and how mines were an act so I say "No, no you're wrong sure loves him and that's that" I say. With that I get up and go to the Everdeens house while he calls after me.

When I walk in Katniss is sleep near Gale's scared up body.

"Hey..."

**And this was my fanfiction tell me how you feel. Just to remind you this was my first fanfiction so don't be too mean with reviews please just tell me where I need improvement. **


	2. Chapter 2: getting it through my head

**Hello world (again)! As seen, this story was originally a one shot, but people wanted me to continue so here I go. This story will continue the morning after Peeta 'took care' of Gale.**

**Disclaimer: ... Nope, I still don't own anything :(**

**Ok, sorry one more thing, reviews make every writer happy, so let's all try to review and I'll keep on writing. Yeah, let's make an agreement reviews= more chapters. Ok, now here we go.**

As I walk out of the Everdeens house the next morning I can't stop thinking about me and Haymitch's conversation.

_'Does she really love me? If she does then why did she tell me it was an act'_

Feeling the way I am, I decide that I don't really want to go home just yet so I make a trip to town. After almost of an hour walking, I find myself walking along the bakery and decide I'm going to go pay them a visit.

As I come near the door I see my 17 year old brother Rye standing at the counter. It's a Sunday and they are pretty slow, so he has no customers at the moment. As I walk in, I realize that he is on his phone texting somebody, probably his girlfriend, Veronica, and playing his favorite song Latch by Discloser. As he looks up he pauses his song and stops texting his girl.

"Peeta," Is all he says and I see a longing look in his eyes and I know that I have that same look in my eyes.

"Hey, man" I say back. We go to embrace each other in a long hug.

"So, how's it been it feels like I haven't seen you in ages." He starts. We go to sit down.

" It's been going...well, I guess you can say," I say " Of course it gets lonely it that giant house alone but I still got my favorite drunk to keep me company."

"Right, right, well that's good to know that your hanging on at least," he says with a grin.

I have already told him and Whyte, my 18 year old brother about Katniss the first week I got back from the games since their the only ones I can really trust With my deep shit.

"Enough about me how have you and White been." White is Veronica's last name and I like to refer to her as White only because she doesn't like it.

"We've been doing absolutely great, I'm telling you man she is the one. You wanna know something," he says with the proudest grin on his face.

"What?" I say with a smile.

"She's pregnant" he says sitting back.

"No shit, dude that's awesome. Congrats. Are you sure?"

"Yeah, she said she took 2 pregnancies test for this just to make sure and they both came out positive."

"That's great, look at you and Whyte both getting your happily ever afters with your girls, where's mine at?" I ask sarcastically.

I guess that was the wrong thing to say because I can feel the tension that just arrived in the air.

"Ok, look I really don't want any deep talking sessions with you, I already had one with Haymitch yesterday and I really don't want another" I say, getting pissed off already.

He puts his hands up in his defense an says "I'm not going to say much, but I will say this, please be careful who you just give your love to, I don't want you getting your heart broken left and right." I feel my shoulders getting less tense and sit back down, not realizing I got up in the first place.

We sit there in silence for a while just in the quiet of it all until I say, "Rye, how did you really know when Veronica loved you? Because Haymitch says Katniss loves me but i'm not sure."

He chuckles and says "She will look at you, like she looks at no one else. And when she kisses you, it will be filled with so much love and when you touch their will be this amazing spark. After that you will just know."

"Thanks man but I think it's time for me to go home I gotta go wake Haymitch up and thanks for the advice, I'll need it."

we both get up and hug one another and as I walk out I realize that Haymitch might have been right, she may not love me like a husband been their is that spark.

When I get home I take my shower put on some more cloths and take a nap.

when I wake up it's a phone call from Katniss

"Hello..."

**and that was another amazing chapter. Now don't you fret my lovely readers yes Katniss will finally be in the next chapter. Now to all my wonders yes I am an Everlark fan. I am Peeniss Everlark all the way and yes I do HATE Gale, I don't like him at all. Go search up that Latch song by Discloser on YouTube, it's an amazing song. So until next time happy reading and may the odds be ever in you're favor and don't forget to review.**


	3. NOT A CHAPTER BUT READ!

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.


	4. Chapter 4: The Date

**Hey everyone, sorry it took me so long to update but believe it or not I am a 15 year old girl and I am in summer school, not cause I'm stupid but I wanna be out of school the fastest I can.**

**Ok going back to do what I do best**

**Disclaimer: I own everything. Oh really... Oh never mind I still, STILL, own nothing. **

Katniss called yesterday to ask if I had plans next week,

**Flashback**

_"Hello" I said _

_"Hey it's Katniss" she said back. _

_ I snort in amusement "duh, who else would it be?"_

_She giggles and says "Right, sorry. Anyways, I was wondering what you might have planned next Wednesday" _

_"Um, nothing unless you count waiting for night to come so I can do the same the next day, why, what's up."_

_"oh nothing, I was just thinking Gale's going home tomorrow so I wanted me and you to do something, probably go to the meadow?" _

_I decide to tease her a bit, "Katniss Everdeen, are you asking me out on a date?"_

_She stumbles over her words "I... No... I just... Uhh, I just wanted to see if you wanted to go. We've, never really spent time together unless we're fighting for our deaths or were trying to figure out our relationship."_

_"Ha ha, of course I would love to come. Would you like me to bring something?"_

_"Ummmm... Probably cheese buns and your cute self. Bye"_

_She hangs up before I realize that she called me cute. Damn, I got a date with Katniss Tomorrows going to be an exciting day. Fuck yes. _

Today is the date with Katniss and I am super excited to see her. I have the cheese buns in the oven and I put on my dark blue jeans and a white shirt with my favorite shoes.

I go to get the buns out of the oven and put them in a basket, I start to think that maybe we'll get more hungry so I make a whole lunch. Their is sandwitchs, crackers, cheese buns, cheeses, and pastries.

I walk out the door and head to the meadow. When I get their I see Katniss standing against a tree looking sexy as hell with a purple shirt, black jeans and her shoes.

"Hey!" I yell so she knows that I am here. She turns around and has a huge smile on her face as she walks over to me. She gives me a hug and takes the basket

"Hey, how you doing" she asks.

"Good how 'bout you" I say as we sit down.

"Awesome. Thanks for coming I was kinda scared to ask you to come today, I wasn't sure on what you were going to say." She says nervously

"You don't have to be scared to ask me things, you know that right."

"Thanks Peeta." We both just stare at each other for a moment and I know she's giving me that look that Rye was talking about. Katniss is the first to break the silence.

"Um... Anyways thanks for coming. Now let's see whats in this basket cause it felt like more then just cheese buns," she laughs. Man she looks so beautiful in her outfit and when she laughs she brightens up the entire world.

'Get your hormones under control Mellark!" I say to myself. I don't want to embarrass my self in front of her.

"Right, Peeta?" she says. Oh man I didn't even know she was talking.

"What?" She gives me her signature scoul and I have to try my hardest not to laugh.

"Sorry," I say with a smile of embarrassment.

"I said thanks for making lunch and we should try the sandwiches right, Peeta?"

"Of course."

While we eat the food Katniss kept talking about how good it was and kept on moaning to how good it was so once more I had to keep my hormones in check before I embaress myself and she never want to see me again.

"Why did you bring so much food?" She asks, while I talk about making all of it

"Well being teenagers that we are, the more your body developes the more hungry you get, so you know, why not? Why'd you call me cute?"

"What when?" She says with pretend shockness.

"Duh, on the phone," I say rolling my eyes with amusement.

"Cause your cute, blind people find you cute." She whispers. We look at each other for a while and I feel that spark again

"Katniss I..." But that's all I can get out before she starts kissing me.

At first we're kissing passionate with all our hearts, but then she starts moaning and I just can't help myself and we go for it with our tounges fighting for dominance but after what felt like hours I have to stop the fun because if we kept going I wouldn't be able to stop myself.

"Ok, ok ,ok we gotta stop Katniss."

She looks disappointed and embarrassed at the same time.

"Don't worry it's not cause of you honey, bit of we keep going i'm not going to be able to stop and we doubt have protection so... "

She giggles and I have to remind myself that **I **had to stop the make out session.

"Ok, come on, let's go home" she says. We pack our stuff and make the trip home, we don't say anything but nothing really needs to be said but we do hold hands the entire way there.

Being the gentleman I am I take Katniss home which really isn't that far it's only across the way from each other.

"Bye Peeta, see you again soon I hope."

"Well after kisses like that we'll see one another real soon," I say making her giggle once more.

"Goodnight." I go home and take a shower and get ready for bed. When I do finally drift off to sleep I'm surprised I don't have nightmares, but not surprised when I dream of Katniss.

**And another chapter finished and out into the world. I tried to make it as fluffy as possible, and I would like to say sorry to all my Everthorne readers out their, I don't hate Gale, but I do not like him, so yeah tell me what you guys want to see in the next chapter and what not and I'll get back to you. Also I'm almost done with summer school so I will be able to post more chapters sooner. So until next time my happy readers.**


	5. Chapter 5: Awkward

**Hello everyone. I know that I am taking a long time updating but guess what? I'M FINALLY DONE WITH SUMMER SCHOOL! In this chap. ****Katniss accidentally throws her mom the wrong ideas.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and forever will, sadly.**

KPOV:

"Hey mom," I say sitting next to her on the couch "you wanted to talk."

"Yeah, tell me how the victory tour went"

"Oh, it was good. I got home sick a couple of times, but Peeta was there to help me get through all the roughest times." I say with a shrug.

"Ah, Peeta. How is that kind boy," She says with a smile and thoughtful look.

"Um, I think he's doing good, me and him are now as you say 'friends with benefits'."

MRS.E POV:

"WHAT!" I yelled. She looks a bit shocked from my outburst. I can't believe my daughter is having sex. 'How long have you guys..."

"Been sleeping together?" she asks.

I exhale, "yes." I say with closed eyes.

"Everyday of the victory tour."

"Are you being careful with it?" I ask the easiest way I can.

"We don't really see anything wrong with it so not really, I don't care if people find out or of the consequences."

"Well I hope you two know what you're doing"

KPOV:

"We do, I guess." I don't see what the harm is were only sleeping.

When were making dinner my mom says, "maybe we should invite Peeta for dinner and see how he's doing."

"Sure I guess," I say.

**LATER THAT DAY: **

PPOV:

I'm asleep when I here a knock on my door. I decide to ignore it for a while but the person repeatedly knocks so I go down with frustration with sweats on and no shirt. I bet it's Haymitch coming to ask for more beer.

"What!" I yell when I get to the door. "Oh sorry," I apologize to Katniss when I see it's only her at the door.

"Hey, you thought I was Haymitch, didn't you?" she asks with a side-ways grin on her face.

I rub the back of my neck with a blush on my face nervously and apologize, "yeah, sorry."

"So, my mom was wondering if you'd like to come to dinner."

"Sure." Honestly this is amazing, her mom said she couldn't have a boyfriend 'cause she's so young, but this will be my chance to redeem myself and show her I'm good enough for Katniss.

"See you later, Peeta"

"Bye."

**DINNER TIME:**

I make there in an hour and help finish making dinner after convincing a stubborn Mrs. Everdeen.

We all eat and converse with one another after dinner Prim goes on over to sleep.

"So..." Mrs. E starts "I have been hearing from Katniss that you two have been having unprotected sex.

I spit out my water like they do in shows and movies and start coughing vigorously while Katniss pats my back "excuse me," then I turn to Katniss "why did you make you mom believe we are having sex?"

"I didn't, mom, how did you get that idea?"

"Well, Katniss, you did tell me you guys are 'friends with benefits'" she says with air quotes.

"Well we are" Katniss says defensively.

"No, were not"

"No, we are because I let you do things I don't normally let other friends do like sleep with me at night, I open up to you more then anybody else, you know you get more benefits then anyone else."

I look at her like she's from another planet, " that is not what that means"

"OK, so what does it mean," she says with a glare.

I give her my own glare, "it means we would be having sex, Kat."

Her shoulders fall and she makes an o shape with her mouth. " Well, we are definitely not doing _that_, mom."

"Oh OK, good. Well now that I know you guys aren't doing that then good night" Mrs. E says heading up the stairs to her room.

"That was extremely awkward, sorry, I didn't know what that meant." Katniss apologizes.

I just shrug my shoulders, "it's cool"

"I'll walk you out"

"Sure"

When I get home that night with a smile on my face knowing that I have Katniss's trust unlike everybody else.

Including Gale.


End file.
